I saw Gretchen do a confessions post yesterday and it gave me a kick to finally write a post I’ve been avoiding for awhile.
This is my confession….
I don’t want to run any spring long distance races and…I don’t feel bad about it anymore. Ever since I was sick this spring – and subsequently had a horrible chest cold after Runner’s World Half that I’m *still* coughing from – I’ve been beating myself up constantly for not being in shape to train for something. Nothing I did was good enough for me if it wasn’t running. If I was running short distances, I wanted to run FASTER. If I was running long distances I wanted it to feel as good as it did last winter when I was in really good running shape. Not surprisingly, after 5 months with hardly any running, my runs have been bad and I would beat myself up more. I haven’t been kind to my body and that needs to stop.
I just want to be able to do what I want to do without wondering if it’s enough. Did my lunch run cover enough miles to be worth it? Am I running long enough? Am I running fast enough? I’m working with a trainer so I should be getting faster, why are my speed sessions so rough? I’m done with the questions.
All of this just isn’t healthy. It’s the opposite of the stress relief I’m looking for. I want to do the elliptical sometimes without feeling bad. I want to do a crazy Jillian Michaels DVD and workout with my trainer without worrying that it might make my legs too sore to run tomorrow. I want to just do what I feel like doing. So that’s what I’m doing. One or two runs a week and then anything else.
The end of this year will be all about being happy and if that doesn’t involve running I don’t even care. At all. Ok, that’s not totally true – I’m crying a little on the inside as a I write this.
So running… I’m taking a break from you. We can still hang out sometimes but only when I feel like it. I’m selfish like that.
I’m looking for some suggestions on how to entertain myself. What are some of your favorite classes/DVDs/ways to stay fit when you’re not running?